*The experiences in this article are, unfortunately, mostly true but are still intended for satirical purposes*
As a seasoned junior with five semesters under my belt, I would like to impart my most essential study tips. The following methods have been scientifically proven—by my personal experience—to foster highly productive work and unrivaled academic success.
Step 1: First, find a comfortable position to complete your work. A 2018 study from SF State University found that an ergonomic posture makes mental math problems appear easier and less daunting, but who needs that? I have discovered an even better position. I highly encourage you to complete your English reading upside-down on your bed, while you are buried under three weighted blankets and slowly losing healthy blood circulation. Alternatively, type up your history essay while hunched over the last clear spot on your bedroom floor in an ‘Asian Squat’ position (please: aspire to a proper learning environment where clean and dirty laundry mix together over every surface area. It works… I swear).
Step 2: Next, fuel your body while working. As high schoolers living in a fast-paced world, it is very easy to sacrifice your health—sleep, food, and water. However, science and our bodies tell us that fueling our bodies with the right things can enhance brain power. For this reason, I am very intentional about consuming snacks while studying. My favorites? I would recommend preparing a fresh bowl of flamin’ hot Cheetos, a portion of organic Oreos, or a plate of all-natural cheddar Pringles.
Step 3: Finally, be wary of scrolling and studying. Social media can distract and divide your attention from essential tasks. This is why, rather than keeping Instagram open for the duration of a study session, I open it after writing a few sentences at a time. Then, I dedicate my undivided energy to scrolling a few posts on my feed. Afterward, I go back to writing a few more sentences of my homework. Voilà! On days when I feel more focused, I can even delay opening TikTok by five whole minutes at a time. I maintain a steady pattern: I do five minutes-on, five minutes-off, five minutes-on, five minutes-off, until my work is fully complete. Feel free to take inspiration from my strategies; imitation is the highest form of flattery!
As you can see, I share this advice sincerely as an older student deeply in tune with my study habits. Shall you ever need more studying tips, feel free to contact me through email any time… unless I’m focused on studying, of course!